A new study from Pennsylvania State University indicates that if your child is dating someone, you might find warning signs of alcohol use by looking at the new boyfriend or girlfriends’ friends. Study researcher Derek Kreager says that a new dating situation introduces a potential group of friends that may bring in new acceptable norms. Kreager is an associate professor of crime, law and justice at the university.

The results of the study showed that teens are more affected by the alcohol-related habits of their romantic interests’ friends than by those of their own friends or even their romantic partners. One specific finding indicated that if the friends of a romantic partner are heavy drinkers, the odds more than doubled that the teen would participate in binge drinking.

Kreager and colleagues accessed information from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health to analyze data on 449 heterosexual couples (a total of 898 students) gathered in 1994, before the individuals had begun dating, as well as data from 1996, after the individuals had become couples. The teens were in grades 7 through 12 when the first round of information was gathered.

The analysis showed that before the couple was dating, there were few friends shared between the individuals and the teens tended to have friends of their own gender. However, the researchers found that the teens were motivated to imitate the habits of their partner’s friends in order to cement the bond with their romantic partner.

The authors note that the influence can also be a positive factor in a teen’s decisions. If a teen starts dating a person whose friends are non-drinkers, they are more likely to refrain from drinking, too. It is the same effect, but in the opposite direction.

The study’s findings highlight the new experiences and norms that a teen is exposed to when they begin dating which can influence their behaviors and choices. Dating also provides more opportunities to form friendships with individuals of the opposite gender.

The researchers note that parents should not discount the habits of their child’s own friends, however. While the drinking habits are revealed to be more influential than those of the teen’s own friends, the friends and partner of the teen still have major impact on their decisions.

The study’s findings are published in the October edition of the journal American Sociological Review.

Belief vs. Reality

A recent study found that this is not the case for many parents. The C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital Poll on Children’s Health at the University of Michigan found a great discrepancy between the number of teens that say that they use marijuana or alcohol and the number of parents who believe that their child may have tried one of the substances.

The report revealed that of parents polled, 10 percent believe that their children, between 13 and 17 years old, have consumed alcohol in the last 12 months, and only 5 percent believe that their teens have smoked marijuana over the same time period. However, the most recent Monitoring the Future study reported that 52 percent of tenth graders reported consuming alcohol in the past year and 28 percent of tenth graders reported smoking marijuana in the same time period.

Bernard Biermann, M.D., Ph.D., Assistant Professor at the University of Michigan’s Department of Psychiatry and Medical Director of the Child/Adolescent Inpatient Unit, explains that the results reflect a "mismatch" between what parents believe their children’s behavior is and what teenagers report about themselves.

The Importance of Open Communication

The results indicate that it is necessary to increase awareness among parents and work on communication between parents and teens. If parents are more aware, says Biermann, it opens them up to the idea that their teen may possibly be engaged in marijuana- or alcohol-related behaviors and they are more likely to initiate a conversation with their children about it.

One interesting finding of the analysis was that parents of teens believed that at least 40 percent of tenth graders used marijuana in the last year and that 60 percent of tenth graders drank alcohol in the last year. This shows that parents are more able to believe marijuana and alcohol are used by other teenagers, but don’t believe that their children are likely to use the drugs.

The findings show that there is great potential for developing campaigns for education of the general public in order to raise awareness among not only teens, but also their parents and adults in the community. Efforts such as these are often successful at raising awareness and increasing communication.

For parents who need some guidelines in talking with their teens about drug and alcohol use, Biermann suggests having the conversation in a non-threatening way, but also closely monitoring teens when they arrive home for signs of substance use. In addition, parents should not get overly upset if they learn of an isolated occurrence of substance use, but instead keep communication open, acting as a buffer for their kids when peer pressure becomes difficult.

Biermann also suggests that parents keep communication open with other parents and the teens that their children spend time with. Parents can also find information to increase understanding and awareness at the National Institute on Drug Abuse.

A posting on CBS News highlights what the academy says are the most common problems parents may encounter when trying to keep their teens away from drugs and alcohol. Among the top 14 mistakes is the problem of parents failing to let children know they do not approve of alcohol or drugs, and not telling their teen what their expectations are. Many parents may also miss some mental health illnesses or symptoms that may already be present in their teen, like depression or eating disorders, which can increase the chances that their child may experiment with drugs and alcohol.

Recent news headlines in the U.S. continue to warn parents that allowing teens to try alcohol at home is a mistake, and can lead to increased chances for higher consumption later and increasing the odds that their teen will experience serious consequences or harm from alcohol. Experts say letting teens try alcohol or drugs from the "experimentation" factor can lead to overdoses, car crashes or sexual assault.

As teens age and gain in intelligence, parents may make the mistake of believing they are also more mature. However, experts warn that intelligence does not equal maturity because the areas of the brain responsible for mature decisions are still developing on into the adult years.

More teens acquire drugs from their home medicine cabinet or a family member than from friends at school, so parents are continually urged to keep their medications in a secure, locked area and to dispose of any they are not using. Furthermore, the academy says parents should take note – their teens are definitely watching their behavior. Parents should consistently demonstrate the kinds of attitudes and behaviors toward drugs and alcohol that they want their teen to demonstrate.

At no other time in life are we more susceptible to the influence of our peers than in the tween and teenage years.

It is rare that a teen comes to their parents and says “Mom and Dad, I’ve been drinking and smoking pot every day”. Even if your kids are fundamentally honest, the fact that they are doing drugs is not something they are likely to share openly with you. Most parents stumble upon indicators that their children are involved in drug activity. Many a parent has found drug paraphernalia hidden in sock drawers, in the toe of a shoe, under the bed, in the garage, etc. And, being human, most parents are shocked and don’t know what to do next. Many parents react angrily, confront their kids and demand they stop using drugs. Unfortunately, in most cases, this is not enough to alter their behavior and get them back on the right track. Not all parents find drugs or drug paraphernalia in their homes, therefore it is important you know the other warning signs to look for:

• School: If your child is normally an A or B student and begins failing classes it could be due to drug involvement. Some kids start skipping classes regularly so they can stay home or hang out with friends and get high. If their grades or attitude towards school change, it is well worth checking with the school to be certain your kids are showing up for class and speaking to their teachers regarding any change in behavior or attitude.

• Health: Drug abuse impacts the health of users – often even in the early stages. Many teens don’t want to get up in the morning but if yours absolutely cannot be roused and refuses to go to school, this could be a red flag. Inexplicable weight gain or weight loss may also be indicators. If your teen seems less alert than usual and you see a type of ‘blankness’ when you look into their eyes, drugs may be the culprit. On the other hand, if they appear hyper-alert, talk a mile a minute and need little sleep, this also can indicate drug use.

• Appearance: This can be a bit tricky as teens may be experimenting with different ‘looks’ in order to feel they fit in. The vast majority of healthy teens take grooming seriously; spending a long time in the shower and/or in front of the mirror. Kids who suddenly stop bathing or caring about their appearance may be in trouble.

• Behavior: This is another area that can be tricky as teens are typically rebellious as they grow and begin the necessary steps toward independence. If you find your children becoming extremely secretive, refusing to tell you where they are going or with whom, this could be an indication of trouble. Kids who constantly ask for money but refuse to tell you why they need it can be spending it on drugs. Some young adults may even steal from family members to support their habit.

More young people begin the recovery process (and have a higher probability of staying clean) when they are aided by professionals and support groups. Early intervention is key; the sooner you can get them on the road to recovery, the better.

Ads for alcohol are everywhere – beer and wine commercials on TV, scotch, vodka and whiskey and other hard liquor products in glossy magazine pieces, billboards, point of purchase displays in grocery stores – it’s inescapable. Is it any wonder that teens, already risk-takers and eager experimenters, gravitate toward drinking?

Parents, educators and concerned friends and relatives should be on the lookout for indications that teens are getting in over their head with alcohol. While the following may be signs of trouble with drinking, they can also be indicative of other problems. A doctor can determine if there is any physical cause for the signs. Evaluation by a mental health professional or psychiatrist specializing in child and adolescent behavior is recommended if several of the following warning signs are evident in teens.

• Physical changes – The most obvious, and visible, changes in teens who may be abusing or experimenting with alcohol are physical changes. Teens may display red and glazed eyes, have a persistent cough, numerous physical complaints and fatigue.

• Emotional changes – Troubling changes in emotions in teens who may be in trouble with alcohol include depression, irresponsible behavior, poor judgment, low self-esteem, irritability, personality change, lack of interest and sudden mood swings.

• Problems in school – Slipping grades, tardiness, skipping school, disciplinary problems, lack of interest, and negative attitude may show up in teens that are in trouble with alcohol.

• Social difficulties — If you notice a tendency toward sloppiness in teens’ appearance, not caring how they dress or look or a radical shift toward different styles of dress, careless grooming, changes in musical taste toward more extreme, violent or dark-themed styles, problems with the law, or new friends who have no or less interest in normal work and/or school activities – these may also indicate an existing or growing problem with alcohol.

• Family problems – Teens who become involved in drinking often revert to clandestine activities, shunning family, breaking family rules, and starting arguments. Since this is so close to home, it’s wise for parents to pay attention to any noticeable problems that their teen exhibits in their own environment.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services and the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration’s (SAMSA) National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (NCADI) have a wealth of information online to assist teens and parents to recognize and combat signs of alcohol and drug abuse. In addition to the general trouble signs listed above, NCADI lists other specific indicators of potential alcohol use and abuse which may include:

• Hiding alcohol, planning to drink in advance, drinking alone

• Frequent hangovers

• Lying about drinking or how much alcohol is being consumed

• Blackouts, inability to remember things that were said or done the day or night before while drinking

• Needing to drink more to get high

• Taking risks, including sexual risks

• Drinking and driving

What you can do

Once you recognize the trouble signs, it’s vital that you do something about it. Try to talk with your teen about the dangers and consequences of alcohol. Take them to the doctor for a physical examination to rule out any medical problems. If warranted, insist they see a child and adolescent psychiatrist or mental health professional for a complete evaluation and potential counseling. Be loving parents, be firm and be patient. These changes didn’t occur overnight, and they will take some time to overcome.

Remember, the family is the teen’s most important ally and resource. You can make a profound difference in your teen’s life by your own example and constant support.

The childhood and teenage years are also prime opportunities for your child to get into trouble with alcohol and/or prescription drugs. Along with trying to fit in, be cool, to go along with the crowd, teenagers’ brains are continuing to develop well into their twenties. This may be one reason they seek out thrills, such as drinking. Experimentation with alcohol, especially when combined with driving, can have serious, even fatal consequences.

Parents, even those who have great relationships with their children, should be on the lookout for these warning signs. Remember that the signs may indicate a problem with either drugs (prescription or otherwise) or alcohol, but some may also be simply “growing pains.” According to experts in the field of alcohol and substance abuse, if you notice several of these signs in your child, especially if they occur at the same time, occur suddenly, or increase in severity, it’s time to get help for your child.

• You find alcohol (or drugs) in their room, backpack or purse.
• You notice that quantities of your prescription drugs are missing.
• Your child is obsessed with money, needing money constantly, or you see evidence that they have suddenly accumulated a quantity of money (that didn’t come from you or any after-school job they may have)
• You detect the smell of alcohol on their breath.
• Your child exhibits physical symptoms such as slurred speech, lack of coordination, bloodshot eyes, or signs of mental problems like poor concentration or memory loss.
• Your child becomes extremely rebellious, especially against family rules.
• Problems in school crop up, such as disciplinary action, poor grades, poor attendance (skipping class, tardiness)
• Changes in mood occur: defensiveness, loss of temper, being irritable.
• Your child suddenly switches friends, and/or doesn’t want you to know their friends.
• Sloppy attire, low energy, loss of interest in former interests, friends or activities, and an attitude that “nothing matters anymore” are also danger signs.

What to do if your child is in trouble

The first thing is: don’t panic! Right after you calm yourself, the next step is to act promptly to get the appropriate help for your child.

You will need to set rules and establish consequences about drinking, for example, as well as prohibitions against use of prescription drugs for anything other than as prescribed by a medical doctor for a specific condition.

Set a good example by not drinking in front of children, remove alcohol from the house, and keep all prescription medications in a locked cabinet. If there’s a family history of alcoholism and/or drug abuse, these steps are even more critical.

Monitor your child/teen’s activities, talk with them about reasons why they should not drink or do drugs (it’s illegal) and encourage family discussions about how to avoid such use in situations they may find difficult – such as peer pressure to join in.

Most of all, work at establishing a firm, but loving and trusting relationship with your child or teen. In the end, family bonds are the strongest and some of the most important curbs to alcohol and/or prescription (or other drug) use.

Stay committed, stay focused, and stay on top of the situation. You will be helping your child/teen to develop into a responsible, self-sufficient adult capable of avoiding alcohol and/or drug use.