Posted on January 28, 2010

Sexting – or the sending and posting of sexually explicit or suggestive messages and photos via digital or electronic devices – is not only against the law in many jurisdictions, it can lead to devastating and long-term unintended consequences for the victims and their families.

“Sex and Tech,” the results of a survey of teens and young adults commissioned by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy and CosmoGirl.com, states that “sending or posting nude or semi-nude photos and videos starts at a young age and becomes even more frequent as teens become young adults.”

Among the survey’s findings are the following:

• One in five teen girls (22 percent) said they have electronically sent or posted online, sexually explicit images of themselves.

• One third (33 percent) of teen boys and one-quarter (25 percent) of teen girls said they have received sexually explicit images (originally meant to be private).

• Sending sexually explicit text messages is even more common than sending racy photos. Thirty-nine percent of teens said they have sent sexually explicit text messages or emails to others. And 48 percent of teens (and one-third of young teen girls), say they have received such messages.

• Reasons why teen girls send such messages/photos include “joke” (40 percent), “sexy present” for boyfriend (52 percent), and “fun or flirtatious” (66 percent).

• Ironically, although 75 percent of teens see potentially serious negative consequences of sending sexually suggestive content, 19 percent say it’s “no big deal.”

Serious Consequences Include Recent Sexting Suicides

It can’t get more serious than this. When news headlines scream of teenage girls committing suicide, the fact should somehow sink in. Two months after 18-year old Jessica (Jesse) Logan went on a Cincinnati television show in May 2008 to tell her story of how sexy photos of herself she’d to her boyfriend wound up getting shared with the school and she’d been taunted and called a whore, the formerly vivacious teen hanged herself in her bedroom.

Interviewed on the Today Show, Jesse’s mother, Cynthia Logan, told Matt Lauer (as reported on MSNBC.com) she never really knew the extent of her daughter’s pain until it was too late. She learned Jesse had been skipping school only after she received letters informing her of the fact. Cynthia Logan took away her daughter’s car and began driving her to school herself. But Jesse still stayed clear of school, eventually telling her mother it was over some pictures she’d sent but now some girls were harassing her, throwing things at her and calling her vicious names. Jesse’s friend, Lauren Taylor, said that when Jesse came to school, she’d hear, “Oh, that’s the girl who sent the picture. She’s just a whore.”

When the mother went to school officials, they apparently only contacted one of the girls and asked her to delete the photos and never speak to Jesse again.

The second U.S. sexting suicide occurred in October 2009 as Hope Whitsell, just 13 years old, hanged herself in her bedroom, echoing the fate of Jesse Logan. Hope had sent nude picture of herself to a boy she liked, but the images were forwarded all over town. The result was that Hope was called a whore and a slut by her classmates. Humiliated, grounded by her parents, and removed as a student advisor to Future Farmers of America (FFA) by her school, Hope couldn’t take it anymore.

How could such terrible tragedies happen? As teens, you know the wild fluctuations of your body’s hormones, the incredible peaks and valleys of excitement and hopes dashed, the importance of friendship, belonging, of experimenting and becoming independent. Unfortunately, for some teens, the distinction between doing what’s right and holding personal integrity or just blindly going along with others to engage in activity (such as sexting) that’s potentially so negative, is not even recognized. Even with all the publicity, teens continue to send and receive sexually explicit text messages, emails and photos. That’s not only morally wrong – it’s a prescription for disaster.

Hold Yourself Personally Responsible

How can you combat the sexting trend popular among your friends? One way is to hold yourself personally responsible. Insist on personal integrity, of yourself, and your possessions. Think about things before you act. You need to value your own personal integrity just as highly as you do your “things” such as cell phones, your personal car (if you’re one of the lucky ones with such a privilege), your clothes and other possessions. You’d have a fit if you lost your “things,” but do you ever think about your reputation? What would you do if it became tarnished to the extent of Jesse Logan or Hope Whitsell’s situations? Why would you want to put yourself in such a position? You don’t have to.

Read what some teens have to say on the subject in postings on the CosmoGirl.com Sex and Tech blog. It may give you some valuable points to ponder. Other teens share their thoughts on the Sex & Tech: Teen Voices subject of sexting. Some examples include:

• Teens don’t think about the real consequences of sending sexual content. Like sex itself, it’s often done in the heat of the moment.

• Most teens don’t understand that sexual images and content will be shared with many others for whom they weren’t intended.

• Sending sexual content over the Internet can come back to haunt you.

• Sending sexual images and messages is so common that most teens don’t think twice before hitting “send.”

• Sexual content you send over the Internet can follow you around forever and even define who you are.

Before you think this is totally off the wall, these videos are from teens just like you – 17 and 18 years of age – and completely savvy. Let them serve as a warning that maybe you should take a bit more care with the casual text messages, texts and photos you are thinking about sending.

Tips to Remember Before Pressing “Send”

“Sex and Tech” recommends the following tips to help keep young people from becoming victims when it comes to sexting. Before pressing the “Send” button on any electronic device, use extreme caution.

• Never assume what you post will remain private. – You may think that the message or image you’re sending to your BFF or boyfriend/girlfriend (or someone you hope will hook up with you) will remain private, but that’s just not the case more often than not. Why take the chance? Even if you think you really know the person and they’d never do such a thing, the fact is that 40 percent of teens and young adults were shown a sexually suggestive message that was intended to be private and 20 percent said they’d shown such a message to others.

• Nothing ever goes away in cyberspace. – Once something appears on the Internet, it’s there forever. Don’t think that it will go away. It won’t. The moment you send it out, you’ve already lost control. Think about this before you write sexually explicit messages or send or post a racy photo of yourself via email or in MySpace or Facebook (or other social media). You may think it’s cute and fun and everyone’s doing it now, but someday in the future when you’re trying to land that coveted job, get into college, or wind up in the public spotlight for any number of reasons, those messages and images can be accessed – even after you delete them. Do you really want potential employers, teachers, college recruiters, coaches, friends, relatives, enemies and others reading through or viewing your past indiscretions that you posted? And, just because you think you deleted it, who knows how many times it was copied and posted elsewhere before you had second thoughts? Best strategy is to not send or post anything that isn’t totally PG.

• Resist peer pressure to engage in sexting. – You’re stronger than that, and your parents should have taught you better. But even if they didn’t, use your smarts and resist the pressure of your peers to go along with the crowd in regards to sexting. According to the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unwanted Pregnancy survey, 47 percent of teens said that “pressure from guys” is the reason women and girls post sexually suggestive photos and images, while 24 percent of teens say “pressure from friends” is why guys post and send sexually explicit text messages, emails and photos.

• What will the recipient think? – Ask yourself how the person who receives the image or text you’re about to send (that cutesy but racy photo or highly-erotic text message or email) will feel? This should give you pause and, hopefully, cause you to reconsider and not send it. You might think it is fun or a joke, and four in 10 girls who sent such messages and photos thought so, but most boys (29 percent) who receive such messages/photos believe the girl intends to hook up or date. The Internet is capricious: it allows you to communicate freely and easily, but it also contributes to the image of yourself that is forever out there.

• You’re not anonymous on the Web. – It’s shocking but true: nearly one in five teens sends sexually explicit photos or messages to someone they only know online. But your screen name, identity, profile, email address or phone number are no guarantee of privacy. It’s easy enough for people to bypass filters and get to your true identity – with potentially long-term and devastating results for you.

More Safety Tips

Keep yourself – and your reputation – safe by following these additional precautions from NetSmart.org:
• Never take nude photographs of yourself or others. – In fact, think about any photos that you do take. Do you want your parents, teachers, friends or other adults to see them? Are they in any way suggestive, erotic or compromising? Again, think of the potential consequences if any photos you take wind up inadvertently (or deliberately) on the Internet.

• Report any nude photos you receive. – Should you receive any nude or semi-nude photographs via email, the Web, or on your cell phone, report the incident immediately to your parents, teacher or other adult you trust. Do not try to delete the image or forward it to others, unless specifically instructed to do so by law enforcement officials.

• If you forward such images, you are as guilty in the eyes of the law as the sender. – Believe it or not, you could face child pornography charges, have to register as a sex offender, or even go to jail. Teens have been convicted of child pornography distribution because they emailed photos of a sexually explicit nature to each other. Never send along to others any sexually explicit images you receive, unless law enforcement officials ask you to do so.

• Think about the consequences. – Sending or forwarding sexually explicit images or text to others can land you in a lot of trouble. You could be expelled or suspended from school, face humiliation, or lose any school or sports scholarships, not get a job you’re after, or wind up in jail. Is it worth any of this?

Bottom line: Exercise good judgment about what you say or show to others, especially through the medium of electronic devices (cell phones, email, and the Internet). If you wish others to value you as a responsible human being, act appropriately. Never give others the opportunity to take what you may consider in the moment to be a totally innocent flirty remark or cutesy, sexy photo and twist it into something that will forever define you as someone you aren’t. Protect your reputation and your safety today so that you can be assured that your reputation will be secure in the future as well.

Does all this mean you have to be a nerd or boring? On the contrary, being smart about how you portray yourself to others is incredibly attractive – to the right individuals. It’s all in perception. Make sure you take charge of the image you portray to others – in person and over electronic devices.