Posted on May 22, 2009

If you think or know that you have a problem with alcohol and/or drugs, your first step is to talk with your parents about getting help. But how do you really do that? For some teens, it’s just not that easy. Even if your relationship with your parents is normally good, this is a tough subject to approach them with. Maybe your home environment is already too tense because of tight finances, the loss of a job, illness or other reason. But there are ways for you to be able to talk to them.

• Get over your fear – We all fear the unknown. And drugs and alcohol are two of the scariest things we may have to confront. Summon up your courage and will yourself to find the answers and support you need. You’ve already made the big first step of admitting to yourself that you may have a problem. This recognition on your part is one of the biggest hurdles – and you’ve already overcome it. Now you can work out your plan to talk to your parents about the issue.

• Don’t go it alone – Before you try speaking with your parents, however, it may be wise to talk the situation over with someone you trust. This may be your school counselor, your family physician, your priest or clergyman, or even an older relative, or one of your grandparents. Be sure this is a person who will give you good advice and keep your confidence – as well as serve as an ally when you do speak with your parents.

• Call a teen hotline – You can remain anonymous and get valuable assistance by calling a teen hotline for drugs or alcohol (or both). These hotlines are staffed by people who are trained to deal with crises or just to answer questions that young people have about alcohol and drugs. Just the fact that you are able to talk with someone about your issues will make you feel better – and you may get some tips on how to approach your parents.

• Ask to speak with a therapist first – You might find it helpful to say to your parents that you would like a consultation (even one) with a therapist to discuss something that’s bothering you – but that you’re not ready to discuss the issue with them just yet. Be respectful, and assure them that you will discuss it fully when you feel comfortable, but that for right now, you need a neutral third party. The first session may even be free (a consultation). If your counselor or doctor have a referral, make sure you mention this to your parents.

• When you do talk with your parents – Maybe you’re closer or feel more comfortable speaking with one of your parents. If so, approach that person first. You may want to admit that you’re scared, overwhelmed, confused, and unsure what to do – and that you need their help. Your parents want to help you – it’s their responsibility as loving parents. You might also ask them not to get angry with you, that just getting up the nerve to talk with them has been really hard for you. After you’ve laid the groundwork with your introduction (you’re scared, etc., and don’t want them to be angry), you might want to say something like, “I think I might have a drug (or alcohol) problem…” Take it from there. Be sure to be loving, respectful, willing to make changes in your life, and probably some consequences for any drug and/or alcohol action. It will be natural for your parents to be concerned, possibly angry and upset themselves, but speaking with your parents is your best line of defense to combating any problems you may have with alcohol and drugs.