Posted on June 26, 2009

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to say no – especially to a friend. But when it comes to your friends urging you to drink or do a drug, that’s exactly what you have to do. Here are some rebuttals you may find effective. Feel free to elaborate or change them to suit your own circumstances, age, marital or family status, personality, comfort level or needs. After all, it’s all up to you.

• “I have an appointment” — It can be for a doctor, dentist, to get your carpets cleaned, car detailed, job interview – whatever. The point is, make it sound good. It always helps if it’s true, so before you go to a place where drugs and/or alcohol may be offered to you, have your way out planned in advance.

• “No way. I know what that stuff does to you.” — Simple, but effective, these words let the other party know in no uncertain terms that you’re not going to get involved. Say it like you really mean it, though, or they’ll just try to convince you.

• “I made a no-drugs/no-drinking pact” — The words you use here can be tailored to whatever you’re being tempted with. But these pacts – to not do drugs, to avoid alcohol – are becoming increasingly popular. If you have it printed on a laminated card, pull it out and show it. This lends even more credibility to your statement.

• “Big day tomorrow.” – This is a no-brainer. We all frequently have huge tests, a heavy workload or other important commitment requiring us to be alert and on top of our game.

• “I have to go to work.” – A job is a great reason not to get involved in drinking or doing drugs. It means you care enough to be responsible, and follow through on that obligation.

• “I’m going to a family outing.” — Plans with your family should always come first – in fact, you can even say that. Family is important. Your friends should understand that you have other commitments. If not, they’re really not your friends at all.

• “Late for dinner.” – You have to eat, right? Maybe it is a nightly or special dinner with your family, husband, wife, siblings, or other friends – it doesn’t matter who. You need to go, and that’s completely understandable.

• “It’s not my thing.” — This is a simple, declarative statement that tells the truth: you don’t want to become involved. Variations might be, “I think drugs are boring – I don’t like how they make me feel.”

• “I don’t believe in putting poisons in my body.” – Drugs and alcohol are poisonous to the human body, resulting in many negative and potentially lethal consequences. This is a strong statement that lets others know you’re adamant about your decision.

• “My family makes me toe the line.” – Family rules and discipline is a strong motivator to steer clear of drugs and/or alcohol. This statement is one that most teens can easily understand.

• “Coach subjects me/us to random drug/alcohol tests.” – Depending on the sport involved, this may be true. Be sure that it is, however, before you use it.

• “Alcohol/drugs run in my family.” – You don’t want to wind up like them, and you know there’s a strong likelihood of genetic and/or environmental influence. You’ve also seen the negative consequences first-hand, and definitely don’t want that to happen to you.

• “I promised my mom.” – Or dad, or whomever. The point is you made a promise that you intend to keep.

• “It’s against my religion.” – Most religions discourage, frown on or prohibit abuse, or use, of certain substances. If your religious belief encourages you to avoid alcohol and drugs, feel free to say so. Again, it’s always good to really believe in your beliefs before you say so. Your friends can tell if it’s a hollow statement.

• “I just went to confession.” – This is basically for Catholics, although it can be changed to suit another religious practice. If you’ve already confessed, you don’t want to go right back and get into trouble with alcohol and/or drugs.

• “I’m on probation or grounded.” – If you’ve already gotten into trouble with parents, school, workplace or other area, you may be “on probation,” or grounded and thus restricted from certain activities or friends. You’ll be watched and monitored closely, and can’t afford to take a chance with drugs and/or alcohol.

• “I’ve got a curfew.” – Doing drugs or drinking alcohol may make you lose track of time and miss your curfew. This can lead to your being grounded or losing other privileges. Friends should understand curfews – most teens have had them imposed at one time or another. Be firm, and make sure you leave when you need to – without doing drugs and/or alcohol.

• “I have to take my ___(mom, little brother, sister, etc.) somewhere.” — This is a variation on the appointment, but it’s for someone else. If you’ve committed to doing this, it’s something you need to take care of.

• “I’ve got my mom’s car and I have to pick her up.” – Many teens don’t have their own wheels, and borrowing one from a family member usually means there are limits – and obligations, like having to pick up your mom from work. It’s a good way to say “No” to drugs and alcohol.

• “No, thanks.” – This last statement is so simple and clear that nothing else needs to be said. You just respectfully decline. Good for you.