Posted on June 15, 2009

If you are like most parents of adolescents (‘tweens’) or teenagers, you probably have wondered if drugs are a part of your child’s life. Also, if you are like most parents, you will want to believe that this could never be the case. After all, you have a good relationship with your child and have talked to your kids about drugs and what effects they have. You have made it your business to know their friends and where they are going. While these are all good things the truth is you can’t know where your child is or what they are doing at every moment; it simply is not possible. Your ‘drug talks’ may have sunken in (somewhat) but the influence their peers have on your teens cannot be underestimated.

At no other time in life are we more susceptible to the influence of our peers than in the tween and teenage years.

It is rare that a teen comes to their parents and says “Mom and Dad, I’ve been drinking and smoking pot every day”. Even if your kids are fundamentally honest, the fact that they are doing drugs is not something they are likely to share openly with you. Most parents stumble upon indicators that their children are involved in drug activity. Many a parent has found drug paraphernalia hidden in sock drawers, in the toe of a shoe, under the bed, in the garage, etc. And, being human, most parents are shocked and don’t know what to do next. Many parents react angrily, confront their kids and demand they stop using drugs. Unfortunately, in most cases, this is not enough to alter their behavior and get them back on the right track. Not all parents find drugs or drug paraphernalia in their homes, therefore it is important you know the other warning signs to look for:

• School: If your child is normally an A or B student and begins failing classes it could be due to drug involvement. Some kids start skipping classes regularly so they can stay home or hang out with friends and get high. If their grades or attitude towards school change, it is well worth checking with the school to be certain your kids are showing up for class and speaking to their teachers regarding any change in behavior or attitude.

• Health: Drug abuse impacts the health of users – often even in the early stages. Many teens don’t want to get up in the morning but if yours absolutely cannot be roused and refuses to go to school, this could be a red flag. Inexplicable weight gain or weight loss may also be indicators. If your teen seems less alert than usual and you see a type of ‘blankness’ when you look into their eyes, drugs may be the culprit. On the other hand, if they appear hyper-alert, talk a mile a minute and need little sleep, this also can indicate drug use.

• Appearance: This can be a bit tricky as teens may be experimenting with different ‘looks’ in order to feel they fit in. The vast majority of healthy teens take grooming seriously; spending a long time in the shower and/or in front of the mirror. Kids who suddenly stop bathing or caring about their appearance may be in trouble.

• Behavior: This is another area that can be tricky as teens are typically rebellious as they grow and begin the necessary steps toward independence. If you find your children becoming extremely secretive, refusing to tell you where they are going or with whom, this could be an indication of trouble. Kids who constantly ask for money but refuse to tell you why they need it can be spending it on drugs. Some young adults may even steal from family members to support their habit.

More young people begin the recovery process (and have a higher probability of staying clean) when they are aided by professionals and support groups. Early intervention is key; the sooner you can get them on the road to recovery, the better.