Posted on May 22, 2009

By Suzanne Kane

Parents know that peer pressure is a powerful force in teens’ lives. Not all peer pressure is bad, but some is very dangerous. Peer pressures to study hard, get good grades, excel in sports or other activities are often beneficial. When it comes to drinking and doing drugs, however, this powerful group force can have a very negative effect. Peer pressure can lead to teens making poor decisions, including those involving alcohol and drugs. But you can help your teens counteract the urge to go along with the group to drink and/or do drugs. What are some strategies to help teens cope with dangerous peer pressure?

Encourage thoughtful decision-making

It’s natural for teenagers to engage in exploration – of new ideas, concepts, clothing, food, etc. By encouraging your teen to make their own decisions in everyday activities, like how/when to do their homework and assigned chores, keeping family schedules, adhering to curfews, phone, Internet and television usage, you will help them establish sound and thoughtful decision-making habits. Once established, the ability to make such decisions can lead to teens being better able to say “no” when they are encouraged by other teens to engage in risky behavior.

• Making thoughtful decisions involves analyzing all aspects of the potential situation. Encourage your teen to identify decisions they may need to make in different situations. Help them gather enough information about the activity or event involving the decision in order to give them alternatives to the potentially risky behavior.

• Discuss as a family the kinds of actions teens can take. Some examples include sticking to family values, avoiding locations where underage drinking and drug use occurs, refusing to break the law, and others.

• Talk about the family ramifications to going along with peer pressure to drink and do drugs. These may include issues of getting grounded, the potential of being in an automobile accident with an intoxicated driver, being forced to have unwanted sex, etc.

• Encourage, but do not force, your teen’s decision not to drink until the age of 21. By the same token, reinforce the idea that taking prescription drugs for non-medical uses is not okay.

• Once your teens have identified potential decisions they’ll need to make, listed possible actions, and formulated their own decisions, stress that they are empowered to make their own decisions. This is important: tell them they have the courage and the ability to say “no” when confronted with peer pressure to drink and/or do drugs.

Be there for your teens

Teens are often unsure, insecure and need positive reinforcement. There’s no better place for them to receive this than right at home. Being a loving parent involves helping them to feel safe and secure in the family environment. It also means establishing an open and non-judgmental atmosphere at home where teens feel comfortable discussing problems and concerns. Let your teen know he or she is always loved, and that you are always there for them. Voice your pride for their accomplishments, bolster their confidence when needed, and engage in frequent family discussions on a variety of topics.

Provide examples of acceptable behavior

Don’t leave this to chance. Be sure your teens know what you mean by acceptable behavior. Topics don’t need to be only about drug and/or alcohol use. Cover teenage sex, smoking tobacco or illegal substances, school cheating, respecting others’ property, etc.

When in doubt, advise teens to walk away

There are going to be situations where your teens will encounter potentially dangerous activity, when they will be encouraged to “just try it” – whether that be some cool party drink (that could be laced with a drug), smoking a joint, popping prescription pills or other harmful substance. Stress that if your teen feels any uneasiness, that little “inner voice” that says “Don’t do it,” they should just walk away. They are in charge of their own STOP mechanism. Provide the atmosphere for frank and open discussions with them about just saying no – so that they’ll be better able to counter dangerous peer pressure when it does occur.